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Hardware Sculpture

I’m a bit of an artist if I do say so myself. I’ve worked on a wide variety of sculptures over the years, selling them for extremely high prices at auction. People love my artworks. Just last week, I sold a sculpture of some sort of strange animal that was kind of like a combination …

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Escaping the Room

I can’t believe we got out of that escape room alive… only to walk into a massive battle between the members of the Church of the Tinted Flock and the Auto King’s loyalists. That’s right, they’re at it again, causing havoc across the entire city of Melbourne. Will this feud between them ever end? It …

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Feet First Date

My brother, Kenny, just told me that he’s feeling anxious about a date tomorrow night. Given that he comes across as an ideal package of funny, smart, handsome and all the rest, I was surprised to hear this. Somewhat unkindly, I had to laugh when he told me that the main source of his stress …

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Daryn the Sneaky

Have you ever heard the tragedy of Saint Daryn the Sneaky? Saint Daryn was a carpenter from the Melbourne area, so powerful and so smart he could use his carpentry skills to create… doors. He had such a knowledge of door creation and replacement that he could even offer this service for free, without asking. …

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Glass Dismissed

There’s too much glass in my life of late. If it’s not a new shower screen for the apartment, it’s a splash-back for the kitchen, and if it’s not that, it’s gathering quotes for replacing the balustrades at the station. Actually, that last one’s the real trip. It’s taking up all my time, and it’s …

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Wardrobe Problems

Holidays present such a wardrobe dilemma. To be specific, I’m referring to holidays of the kind where you go and lie on a beach for ten days, and perhaps go for a couple of day trips an extinct volcano or a parrot sanctuary or paragliding or something. The question, then, is how to put together …

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Ignoring Seasons

Everyone thinks that we goths hate summer, but it’s not true. It’s just that many of us prefer not to be swayed by the seasons in how we present. You might not think that black lace dress, thick gauntlets and high leather boots are ideal attire for a balmy day at the beach, but that’s …

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Bull Artist Bro

My brother Brett sees himself as an expert on literally everything. That wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that he totally isn’t. In fact, I wouldn’t say he’s an expert on anything much, aside from spouting codswallop at every opportunity. The worst of it is that he’ll actively make up things …

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Yeah, I’m Jealous

Why does Narelle always have to be so darned smug? Sure, she’s better than everyone at virtually everything, from making money to volunteering at a soup kitchen to having a good haircut. But that doesn’t mean she needs to let on. Can’t we all just pretend to be on the same level? Here’s an example. …

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Concerned Grandma

I’ve just been reading this article on the toll of stress in teenagers sitting HSC exams. Apparently, anxiety and depression around this activity are on the rise in recent years, and it’s leading to an increased need for special exam provisions, counselling and even medical diagnoses. It’s a bit of a worry, frankly. My grandson …

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