Man, that alternative music conference really was something else. Some people maybe say it was a failure because only eighteen people showed up, nobody had any money to buy merchandise and we made a loss of $2000 due to venue hire and other related expenses. But since we all got to be exposed to some new, alternative and transformative forms of music…can you really say it wasn’t worth it?

In monetary terms, probably not. But all of our souls are enriched, for real. I particularly want to follow up on the careers of a few people, including that girl with the banjo, and that guy with the red-hot lyrics. We just don’t see enough people writing songs about the property market, you know? Where ARE all those people? I want to hear people writing songs about that one conveyancer open in Collingwood who dealt with your property transfer that one time, or that one conveyancer near Caulfield who had really great desk mints.

You know…the real important stuff. Not enough people sing about the little things that matter. I know conveyancing doesn’t sound like a big deal but it’s vitally important in this modern age. Music and rhythm are supposed to be about expressing yourself, but people keep putting themselves in boxes. Like…you sing R&B, then you gotta sing about mellow relationships. You rap, then it’s all gotta be about relationships and money and saying bad things about the police. And don’t even get me started on the country folks. If I have to hear one more song about blue jeans and pickup trucks I’ll scream. I know it’s in the name, but you CAN write sings about stuff other than falling in love on the farm.

Which is why having all of these free-thinkers in one room was so great. One girl sings from the heart about her sick rabbit and car noises, and a guy spits lyrics on conveyancing and settlement. What an event. We gotta do it all again next year, once I find a venue that’ll have us for free.

-DJ Ray-Dawg